Do you want to go to heaven?
Here's an easy method. Lie to me. Tell me you are good. Even if you are not.
Do you want to live in God's kingdom when the Judgement comes?
I know how you may. For just a dollar I can sell you a seat on that empty bus.
For fifty cents you can live right next door to Him.
For a quarter you can piss on His lawn.
For a penny you can have your picture taken with a similar, life-size piece of cardboard.
Whatever you decide. Whichever piece of heaven you purchase.
Always keep in mind.
You get what you pay for.